The Rules of Love
by jane27
Summary: Monica is stuck in a bad marriage. Will she stay where it's safe or take a chance? Love triangles, unrequieted love, drama, angst, things you only dreamed about finding in one fic UNTIL NOW!!!
1. The Most Important Thing

"I'm pregnant."  
  
"What? Excuse me, I don't think I heard you right. Did you just say you're pregnant?"  
  
Sometimes things turned out the way you planned them and sometimes they didn't. Monica was looking "didn't" right in the face.  
  
"Well, Joe, apparently there's nothing wrong with your hearing."  
  
Monica was not quite sure when her life started to stray away from the plan she had set out to accomplish so many years ago. At one point she had thought that Joe was part of that plan, but the longer they stayed together the more she realized that he was not. It had only took one date for Monica to start thinking about all the things the future held for them. He had made her laugh, she enjoyed listening to him, he seemed to enjoy her stories, and most importantly she felt really comfortable with him. It took two years before she realized that comfortable and happy were not the same thing.  
  
"I guess I just don't understand how this could have happened, I mean, you are on the pill, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes, Joe, I am on the pill, but nothing is 100 percent. I'm glad to see you trust me, though."   
  
At this point she was just so tired of all of it. As long as she could remember the only thing she wanted in life was a family. That meant a husband who loved her and children. She hated a lot of the things Joe did. She hated when he left for work without saying goodbye, she hated when he came home late without calling, she hated when he made plans for the two of them without checking with her first, but most of all she hated that he was making her wish she weren't pregnant.  
  
"Well...what are we going to do about it?"  
  
"Well, I don't know about you, but I am going to have this baby. Whatever role you play in this pregnancy and the life of this child is up to you. I do not want you to do anything you don't want to. As much as I want my child to have a father, you have got to want to be a father, and from the look on your face I can see that you don't."  
  
"Monica, please don't do this to me..."  
  
"Excuse me, what exactly am I doing to you?"  
  
"Just listen to me for a second will you? Goddamn it Monica! We have talked about children before. You say you want them and I tell you that I am not ready. Right now I need to focus on my career. Do you even listen to me when I talk to you?"  
  
"Yes, Joe, I listen to you, but it is quite obvious that you have not been listening to me. This is not something I planned. As much as I want a child I would never choose to bring a child into a home where it wouldn't be the most important thing."  
  
"Okay, that's fine. But the fact is that you are pregnant and I don't need you to lay this guilt trip on me to try and make me happy about this."  
  
"I am not trying to lay anything on you. I have meant everything I said. Whether or not you believe it I am perfectly capable of raising this child on my own. I've been taking care of you for the past two years, haven't I?"  
  
Joe and Monica met during their senior year of college. He was a sucker for good food and the risks that he was willing to take by becoming an actor amazed and excited Monica who had always avoided risks. Monica had always assumed that she would meet her husband while she was in college. That was what people did, it was what her parents did, it was what her brother did, and it was what she would do. When Monica was still single her senior year she started to get worried, if she didn't meet her husband in college she thought that she would stay single for the rest of her life. She knew it was a ridiculous thought but she couldn't shake it, even now it was that fear that she would never meet anyone else that kept her with Joe when she knew that their relationship was going no where. So a mutual friend set them up and after a few good dates the wedding bells started to ring in Monica's head. They were still engaged when he started cheating on her. At first she was outraged when she realized what was going on, but then she talked to her friend Rachel who was going through the same thing. Rachel told her that that was what guys did before they got married, they were just sowing their oats or something like that. Monica didn't really buy it, but she needed to get married, and she didn't have any other options.  
  
"Okay, fine. If that's the way you're going to be, then go right ahead. I'm not listening to anymore of this bullshit, Monica. I am sick and tired of you treating me like I'm some goddamn five-year-old. No one made you marry me, so you can just stop blaming me for everything that is wrong in your life. I'm not perfect, Monica, believe me, I know that, but neither are you. You act like life is just something that happened to you, that this mess that we call a marriage is not your fault, well I hate to break it to you, but you are just as much to blame as I am."  
  
"I never said that I was innocent in all of this. I know that I have made mistakes along the way, but maybe if you could just keep your pants on I could have avoided my biggest mistake, which was putting up with all of your infidelities."  
  
"You have got to be kidding me."  
  
"Excuse me? Are you telling me that I don't have a right to bring this up, because you better believe I do. The first rule of sex: don't do it unless you are willing to take responsibility for the consequences."  
  
"I thought the first rule of sex was to get it as often as you can."  
  
"You know what, Joe? Fuck you. I am so sick of you and all of this. I don't understand how you can get mad at me and tell me I treat you like a child when the maximum mental age you ever approach is sixteen. And as far as the consequences of your college boy antics are concerned you got lucky, you got your wife pregnant, although maybe it's not lucky since I am probably the only one you sleep with who would actually keep the baby."  
  
"Jesus Christ, when did my life come to this?"  
  
"I don't know, Joe, I have not idea when YOUR life came to this, if I did WE wouldn't be here. But like it or not we are here and we have to deal with it."  
  
"I don't know Monica, I don't know what to do. Why don't you just figure it out and tell me what you decided so I can figure something out."  
  
"I don't believe this Joe, I really don't. You've given me a lot of shit since we've been together but I just always thought that you were one to stand up and take responsibility for yourself. It was the one thing I could count on. Now, I just don't know...I don't...I can't do this anymore...I...I'll see you later, Joe."  
  
The tears were streaming out of Monica's eyes as she ran out of the apartment straight into the arms of another man. Of course, she hadn't seen Chandler, but she turned the corner and there he was.   
  
Chandler was just stopping by to hang out with his former roommate and his wife and as he neared the apartment he heard a door slam and a woman crying; he turned the corner and there was Monica.  
  
'Great,' he thought, 'what has he done now?' 


	2. Anything for You

In the two and a half years that Chandler had known Joe and Monica as a couple they had fought a lot. The fights usually ended with one of them storming out and Monica crying, but he had never seen her cry this hard. It was as if the person she cared about most in this world had died, she couldn't get a single word out, she could barely breath, all she could do was cry. For a moment Chandler was afraid that someone had been hurt; in the back of his mind he worried that someday one of their fights would cross that line.  
  
"Monica, sweetie, you need to tell me what's wrong. Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"  
  
She just shook her head, her body trembling as she sobbed.  
  
"Then what is it?" He knew she wasn't going to answer so he just held her, waiting for the tears to subside and wondering how things had ever gotten to this point.  
  
When Chandler first met Monica she was nothing like he had pictured her. The way Ross had described her he imagined some whiny, sniveling child who could never live without a man or attract a decent one. Well, to be honest the first few times he met her he projected a lot of what he had imagined onto her. But as they all grew up Chandler realized how wrong he had been. Yes, it was painfully obvious that Monica believed she was incomplete without a man in her life, but she was surprisingly self-sufficient and she had made everything happen herself; Monica waited for no one.  
  
Chandler liked Joe when he first met him and, in spite of himself, he still liked him now. Deep down Joe was a nice guy and he always shot from the heart, but he couldn't commit to anything. The pressure to find your mate in college affected Joe too, everyone told him that Monica was a great catch, so a month before graduation he proposed and, much to his dismay, she accepted.  
  
Monica needed time to plan her dream wedding so she asked Chandler if he wanted a roommate. She figured that Joe could live with him until the wedding after which they would move into the apartment that Monica's grandmother left her.  
  
And so began the hardest two years of Chandler's life.  
  
Most of the time he liked living with Joe, the guy was a lot of fun to be around and ever since Ross and Carol got married Chandler had been a little lonely. When Joe moved in it meant that he had someone to do guy stuff with. Watching Baywatch alone was pathetic, but watching Baywatch with another guy and deciding whose boobs were real and what Caroline was like in bed, now that was cool.  
  
The first month that they were roommates was great and plus Monica was over all of the time. The great thing about Monica and Joe was that they weren't all lovey dovey, it didn't make Chandler uncomfortable to be around them. At least Chandler thought it was great, but after a month he realized why they weren't lovey dovey.  
  
Chandler had been working late and when he got home the lights were out and Joe and Monica were fooling around on the couch.  
  
"Sorry guys, I'm just going to go to my room and go to sleep. I won't bother you, I promise."  
  
"Who's that?" It was a woman's voice, a voice he didn't recognize.  
  
"No one." That voice he knew, it was Joe's voice.  
  
Chandler wanted to hate Joe; more than anything he wished he could just loathe Joe with every bone in his body, but he couldn't. They were friends and while he hated the things Joe did he could not seem to hate him. Joe loved Monica but he was nowhere near ready to get married and so he made excuses and acted like an ass to push Monica away, so she would leave him. Of course Joe never told Chandler any of this stuff, the deepest conversation they ever had was about Pamela Anderson's tattoos, but Chandler knew.  
  
He hated himself for not saying anything. He valued his friendship with Joe but it broke his heart to see the pain he was causing Monica. And now as he stood there with her crying in his arms, watching her world fall apart, he felt powerless. Then he started to get angry. Angry at everyone. He was angry at Joe for being such an ass hole, he was angry at Monica for putting up with his shit and he was angry at himself for being indifferent, for just standing there and letting it all happen and never trying to stop it. Chandler valued his friendship with Joe enough to keep him from ever telling Monica the way he really felt, but it didn't have to stop him from saving her from this dead end marriage.  
  
"Okay, you don't have to tell me what happened, but you can't stay here. Do you want me to take you to Ross's?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"How about Rachel?"  
  
"No."  
  
At least she spoke, he thought.  
  
"Alright, where do you want me to take you?"  
  
He waited for what seemed like hours as she struggled to speak through her sobs; all the while he was terrified that Joe would come bursting through the door at any moment.  
  
"I don't know," she finally managed to choke out, "just…please…don't leave me."  
  
Oh God, he thought. He had waited so long to hear her say something like that, but he knew it didn't mean what he wanted. So, he swallowed his feelings and tried to do the right thing, which, coincidentally was also the hardest thing.  
  
"I won't leave you, I promise. We'll just go back to my apartment so you can calm down and we can talk it out or you can just get some sleep. Whatever you want."  
  
She looked up at him, her blue eyes sparkling with tears, and whispered "thank you."  
  
It was all he could do to hold back his own tears. He was right in the middle of a nightmare. He was in love with a woman who was the sister of one friend and the wife of another and now he was her support system. He longed for the good old days when girls had cooties.  
  
"Anything for you." 


	3. One Last Chance

Not knowing what else to do Chandler brought Monica back to his apartment. Confusion, fear, anxiety—these words did not even begin to describe what Chandler was feeling. It wasn't just that he had no idea what to say or do to make Monica feel better, but he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that things were changing, for Joe and Monica and for him and Monica and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Yes, he had always hoped that some how he and Monica would end up together, but he never thought it would be possible, and even though the chance of it happening was small it terrified him so much that he felt nauseous.  
  
So as he struggled to keep down his lunch Chandler held Monica's hand and navigated the streets and subways of New York that led from the East Village to his apartment uptown. When he opened the door he remembered why he hadn't brought a date back to his place in months, besides the fact that he was pining after a married woman. The apartment was a mess. Shirts, pants, boxers, and towels were strewn all over the couches and the floor where they would remain until he would be faced with the option of doing laundry or going to work naked. He had once told Joe that the scattered clothes were a product of all the passionate encounters that occurred when his dates came back to his place, but in reality he couldn't remember the last time he dated a woman that wanted him so bad she couldn't make it to the bedroom, or vice versa. Dirty dishes in the sink overflowed onto the surrounding counter and the orange juice he spilt on his way to work that morning had formed a sticky yellow lake over the avocado green counter.  
  
Remembering how compulsively neat Monica was he attempted to clear off the couch for her to sit on, but she didn't seem to notice. The closer they got to his apartment the softer the crying had become but as she sat down the memories of the night and the last two years came back to her and she lost control. Chandler didn't know what to do but he remembered that when he was little and a nightmare or something had upset him his mother would gather him in her arms, rock him and rub his back and tell him that it would all be all right. So he took Monica in his arms and rocked her and rubbed her back and told her it would all be all right as the flowery smell of her perfume filled his nostrils. He felt like such a fraud as he did it. How could he tell her that everything would be all right when he had never felt more certain that it wouldn't? But he hated to see her cry, he hated to see her in pain, so he did the only thing he could think of to make her feel better.  
  
Chandler decided that he had to say something. If he could get her talking about what had happened, maybe lightening would strike him and he would know what to do. As he considered his options time passed and when he finally decided on a course of action he looked down to see that she was asleep. 'It's just as well,' he thought, so he lay her down on the couch and covered her up with the only clean blanket in his apartment. He didn't want her to wake up in the middle of the night and think that she was all alone so he took the blankets and pillows from his bed and slept of the floor next to the couch. His thoughts kept him up for a while but finally he fell asleep.  
  
***  
  
After Monica woke up there was one glorious second where she forgot everything that had happened that night. But then she recognized the apartment underneath the clothes and she realized that the man sleeping on the floor next to her was not her husband and she found herself fighting back tears once again. She tried desperately to think of something else or to at least cry in silence but the hormones raging through her body refused to let that happen.  
  
He woke up and before she could even say anything he was sitting next to her, holding her and telling her it would all be all right. She appreciated everything he had done for her but instead of making her feel better it just felt as if he was reminding her of what she didn't have. Every man in that entire city of six million was a better man than the one she had married. It just didn't seem fair. And now she was pregnant, something she had looked forward to since she was a little girl, but she wasn't happy about it. She was married to one man and in the arms of another but she had never felt so alone.  
  
What made it worse was this nagging feeling she had that she didn't have to be. Here she was with a great guy, who had been unsuccessfully hiding his feelings for her for the past two years. All she had to do was say the word and he would do anything she wanted, he would love her and cherish her more than Joe ever had. She had often wondered what it might be like with Chandler, especially when she and Joe fought. The life she envisioned always seemed perfect, but something was missing and she could never quite put her finger on it.  
  
Maybe it was Monica. Maybe she never really put herself into the fantasy, maybe all she had to do was take the risk, maybe her dreams would come true. She looked up at him, looked into his eyes and saw herself. What she saw was a small, tired woman who had forgotten what it felt like to be happy and it scared her. So she did the only thing she could think of to make that woman go away. She kissed him.  
  
***  
  
Joe sat in his chair and stared at the blank screen for hours.  
  
A pregnancy. A baby.  
  
He struggled to make sense of it all, but he couldn't. All he could come up with were hundreds of questions and not a single answer. Would she want to keep the baby? Was he really ready to be a father? Would she leave him if there wasn't a baby? Would she stay with him if there was? Did she still love him? Did he love her?  
  
He knew the answer to the last question; it was the only thing he was sure of anymore. Yes, he loved her, though there were many times he wished he didn't. It sure would make his life a lot easier, but no matter how hard he tried, no matter what she did, he could not stop loving her. He knew he didn't deserve her, he had proved that many times, but for some reason she married him and now she was pregnant with his child.  
  
He knew she had always wanted to have a baby and he knew that accidents happen. He wasn't really ready to be a father but that was no excuse for his behavior. What she had said about taking responsibility had really hit home. For all his faults Joe had never let someone take the fall for his actions but now when it really counted he just sat on the bench and watched the woman he love suffer.  
  
He hated himself. He wished that he had never met Monica, then he could have just been the ass hole that he was born to be and it wouldn't hurt anyone. Of course, he knew that wasn't true, but if he didn't live with the woman he hurt he couldn't see how it hurt her. Ignorance is bliss.  
  
Joe closed his eyes and saw her face. He saw the hope that was in her eyes when she told him she was pregnant then he saw the pain when she walked out. He could never look into her eyes when they fought. She was able to look right through him and turn him into goo. That's why she used to win fights. Now nobody won. They were both losing and it was more than just a fight. Joe was tired of fighting and he was tired of what it was doing to them, not just to their marriage but also to them as people. They weren't happy anymore and it was so bad it was affecting their friends. Whenever Chandler was over Joe got the feeling that he couldn't wait to leave and he was pretty convinced that Ross hated him.  
  
He inhaled and he could smell the lilac perfume that she always wore. She had a tendency to put on too much but he never had the heart to tell her, besides it meant that he could always tell when she was nearby. No matter how bad things got whenever he smelled her perfume it would make him smile, but now it just brought tears to his eyes. It reminded him of what he had had and what he was losing and it was more than he could take.  
  
He realized that this was his last chance. A baby meant a new beginning, one last chance to prove to Monica that he really did love her. He could be a good father if he got his priorities straight and he could be a good husband. When she came back he would tell her how sorry he was and that he wanted to start over. He could never let her go without a fight; he loved her too much. 


	4. A Perfect Moment

Finally, another chapter. Sorry that this one took so long but I couldn't seem to find the time or the inspiration to work on it. I'm going to busy for the next couple weeks but after that I should, hopefully, have some more free time so that I can possibly finish this story and perhaps some others I've been working on. You know what I think would probably motivate me to finish this up? Lots and lots of reviews. The future of this fic is now in your hands. Mwah-hah-haaa. (This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.  
  
***  
  
  
  
The kiss took Chandler by surprise to say the least but even more surprising were the words he heard coming out of his mouth next.  
  
"I love you."  
  
The silence that followed made Chandler dizzy as he held his breath, terrified of what she might say next. But she didn't say anything, she just cried.  
  
"Well, not exactly the response I was looking for, but at least you're still here." 'Great Chandler,' he thought, 'always quick with the sarcasm.' She gave him a halfhearted smile; even in her sorry state she was polite enough to smile at his pathetic comment.  
  
"I'm sorry," she managed to choke out between sobs, "I just.I just.I don't know what to do anymore; I don't know what to think; I don't know what to feel. I just wish."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I just wish."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't know.I don't know. When did it all get so hard? I had a plan: fall in love, get married, have kids, be happy. I thought that's what I was doing, but I just don't know any more. Chandler, what do I do?  
  
As Monica broke down again for millionth time that night Chandler took a deep breath. The words he spoke were words he had said many times before but never out loud and never to her. "Monica, I don't know what the right thing is to say or do anymore. It breaks my heart to see you in pain and I wish that I could give you answers but I'm lost too.  
  
"I love Joe, he, he's like a brother to me, but I see the way he treats you and it's just not right. You are such an amazing woman, Monica and you deserve to be loved and appreciated. I may not be the sexiest man alive or the world's greatest lover, but I know that I can give you everything you want and deserve. I love you, Monica, I've loved you since the first day I met you and I will do absolutely anything it takes to be with you. Please, let me give you the love you deserve."  
  
Monica had to close her eyes to stop the room from spinning. He had just offered her everything she wanted, everything she needed. She wanted more than anything to tell him yes. But she knew she couldn't or shouldn't, not yet at least. But she was so tired and as she looked into his eyes, trying to find the right words to explain to him all of the thoughts and emotions that were running through her body at that moment, he leaned in to kiss her. She didn't pull away. She was too tired.  
  
She told herself that if it got too intense she would stop him, but when he began to undo the buttons on her shirt she didn't stop him because for the first time in a long time something felt right and if what Chandler said was true then she deserved this. She deserved him.  
  
***  
  
The next morning the sunlight crept through the slits of the venetian blinds to find two bodies intertwined on the laundry-covered couch. Their breathing had synchronized and their hearts beat as if they were one but the dreams and the thoughts playing through their minds were worlds apart.  
  
A knock at the door woke Monica up though she didn't know it at first. As she stirred against him Chandler opened his eyes and smiled at her. He knew that what they had done and what they had started was far from simple but he wished so much that it were. He was afraid of what she might say or do next to end what in his mind was a perfect moment. He inhaled, awakening his senses with the smell of her and began to speak but the words he was about to articulate left his mind as he heard knocking.  
  
"Chandler? Are you there? It's me, Joe, I really need to talk to you."  
  
"Oh my God," he whispered. "Umm, umm, just a minute, Joe, I'll be right there." He turned to her and saw the fear in her eyes. "Don't worry, just, here, take your clothes and go into my room and shut the door. I'll take care of him."  
  
"Please don't."  
  
"Don't worry, I won't say anything, I promise. Now go."  
  
After Monica closed the door to the bedroom Chandler pulled on his pants and a shirt and opened the front door. "H-h-hey Joe, what's up?"  
  
"It's Monica," Joe told him as he walked past Chandler and sat on the couch. It was exactly what Chandler had expected him to say though he wished he hadn't. As Joe sat down he cocked his head to the side and Chandler's knees went week. 'He knows, I don't know how but he knows.'  
  
"Something smells so gre--, what is that? It, it, it smells like Monica, like that perfume she always wears." As Joe stood up and took a deep breath in Chandler was pretty sure that he must be able to smell fear too and he braced himself for what was coming next. But when Joe turn toward him Chandler saw that his eyes were not filled with anger, they were filled with tears. "God, I love that smell. I guess it must be pretty popular, huh?"  
  
"W-w-well, yeah. A lot of the girls I date wear that perfume." Chandler didn't know what to do, he'd never seen Joe cry before. He wanted to get him out of his apartment but he didn't know how. He thought of all the shitty stuff that Joe had done to Monica, tried to channel his anger and let it build so that he could see past the tears in the monster's eyes, but the only person he could manage to be angry at was himself for being so stupid. He'd made a complicated situation even more complex. People were getting hurt badly, including him, and somehow he was going to have to fix it. But how? Chandler closed his eyes and tried to think but the words that came next out of Joe's mouth made that impossible.  
  
"Chandler, she's pregnant?"  
  
"Who? Amy?"  
  
"No. Monica. She told me last night and I acted like such an ass hole. I yelled at her and."  
  
Joe kept talking but Chandler couldn't seem to concentrate on the words. His whole body felt numb. Monica was pregnant.  
  
***  
  
  
  
Have any of you ever seen the show "Cold Feet," not the American knock off but the original British one? It's like "Friends" but it's more about relationships and much more dramatic and the actress who played Emily on "Friends" is actually in it. I just saw it for the first time on Bravo and I really liked it. Anyone know if there's a regular time that they always show it at?  
  
Well, that's all for now. Let me know what you think! 


End file.
